Sex therapy

 

SEX RULES!!!! Especially GREAT SEX!

Female sexual dysfunction is an expansive condition, which encompasses a wide range of sexual problems suffered by women. The various sub types include low sexual desire, arousal problems, orgasmic dysfunction and sexual pain disorders. Any or all of these problems may arise due to a disturbed physical, psychological or hormonal milieu. Each problem needs to be addressed in entirety with a structured approach. Treatment involves a comprehensive strategy to help women and couples address these issues to achieve a healthy sexual life.

 

Sexual desire problems have become one of the most commonly reported sexual complaints in recent decades. A recent landmark study had astounding findings. Prevalence of sexual dysfunction was found to be as high as 43 percent amongst American women and 31 percent amongst American.

Despite extensive advances in the treatment of life threatening illness like cholera, polio and other epidemiologically significant diseases, treatment of sexual dysfunction, specially sexual desire problems in women has long been relegated to the confines of a “ mental or a personality variable” and in so doing, considered formidable to treat.

People have to develop the maturity to keep sex and intimacy alive in long-term relationships. After the emotional, religious and childhood fears have been worked through; the resolution of sexual desire problems entails working with and understanding the dynamics of the relationship.

Physical factors should not undermine the importance of the emotional capacity to acknowledge, experience and differentiate the interplay of sexual, non-sexual, pleasurable or uncomfortable, positive or negative feelings that come with the exploration of oneself and the relationship during the course of therapy.

A woman’s libido is highly sensitive and the first casualty in any relationship challenge. Truly good sex begins with a willingness to be open and vulnerable, to give pleasure freely and receive it fully. This enlists both the partners’ commitment to shared physical and emotional intimacy.

Being a multifaceted disorder, the treatment approach can be daunting and complex. I can only attempt to break down the basics of approaching the issue in the subsequent sections.

Physical health

  • Eat: healthy. Anti-oxidants, green leafy vegetables, avoiding starchy fatty foods, help keep the anabolic and catabolic (building and breaking down) processes in balance. This promotes weight loss or avoids weight gain. For example, high carbohydrate diet encourages the release of insulin, which causes the hormonal pathway to deplete the sex hormones, which leads to low sex drive.
  • Move: Physical activity – at least 30 minutes a day of brisk exercise for a minimum of four days a week enhances the feeling of well being and helps boost libido. Various studies have reported that women are more sexually receptive after exercise.
  • Sleep – at least 7 hours of sleep, other than being just “ beauty “ sleep has restorative mental and physical functions. Lack of adequate sleep, increases cortisol levels. This again depletes the sex hormones negatively affecting sexual appetite. Good sleep hygiene includes avoiding caffeine or other stimulants before bed time, avoiding highly stimulating physical or mental activity for up to 3 hrs before bedtime, establishing a nightly routine and using relaxation techniques like stretching or deep breathing before going to sleep.
  • Avoid: Alcohol, intoxicants. They are not a solution or a short cut to sex. They decrease the quality of sex and cause orgasmic dysfunction.

Behavioral Health
  • Develop a healthy body image
  • Develop communication strategies with your partner
  • Unresolved sexual trauma – needs to be address with the help of one’s therapist.
  • Go out: Plan sensual date nights. Disconnect your mind from rigmarole of daily activities and clear your head. Outline sexual fantasies and set deadlines to enact them.
  • Develop stress management strategies through meditation, exercise and lifestyle. The first step in stress management is to “tracking” stress. Step back, evaluate and re-examine factors that can be modified.
  • Think sexy: This makes you feel sexy which leads to great sex. Remember, ” sex rules”!

Hormonal health
  • Phases of life – pregnancy, childbirth, menopause. Women are subjected to tremendous variations in their hormone balances at all times. The perfect homeostasis may be tipped by any number of reasons.
  • Stress is the destroyer of sex.
  • Diet – complex carbohydrates. Foods with a high glycemic index translate to decreased stress drive
  • Alcohol and other drugs
  • Menstrual cycle – decreased sex drive in the pre-menstrual phase.
  • Contraceptives can cause low libido by decreasing hormonal levels.
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Drugs -Some anti-depressants, anti- diabetic, anti-hypertensive and cholesterol reducing drugs are sex drive killers.
  • Chronic medical problems like high blood pressure and diabetes.

In summary, the levels of estrogen, progesterone, testosterone, vitamin D, cortisol and DHEA need to be evaluated and the imbalance needs to be addressed. Diet, lifestyle, herbal and hormonal supplements can go a long way in establishing the right balance leading to a healthy sex life. The herbal supplements and hormonal supplements should be taken under the guidance of an expert. Mixing and overdosing can do more harm than good.